RobKinney.com

Imagine for a second…

Focus on what you can control

Rob

　　People are natural worriers. We begin to fret over the smallest of things which does nothing but add stress to our lives and most of us have enough of that. As authors, many times we struggle to get published or even to get our foot in the door.
　　
　　We worry about these things when we have no control over the things that are happening to us. When we focus on what we can’t control, then we are wasting our energy. This is energy that can be put to much more constructive use.
　　
　　We should only worry about that which we CAN control. Those things that we have some ability to change. If we focus on these things, the effort we put in is not lost. We can attempt to make positive changes simply because we have the ability to create change. Because of this, our efforts are positive and our thoughts should be focused on that.
　　
　　Many of us still worry about the outcome, but we shouldn’t worry about it. We will be taken care of, things will work out for us. Because we are working towards positive change. That doesn’t mean what you have written is good and doesn’t need to be improved. In other words, we shouldn’t ignore advice that is given to us.
　　
　　We still need to put in the effort that is required and accept the information that is given to us. We only need to change our outlook so that we work towards something that is for our benefit instead of wasting effort or energy worrying about things that won’t improve our situation.
　　
　　So when you begin to worry about something, ask yourself, “What about this can I change to make my situation better?”
　　
　　

So what situations are you in that you need to change how you look at it?

Go with what scares you!

Rob

Go with what scares you!

 

That phrase alone scares me, to be honest with you. The idea of doing something that scares me is what scares me. I don’t like being scared. But, OK, let’s take a step back and take a look at this. I heard this phrase the other day and yes, I understand that it is meant to get you out of your comfort zone.

 

But does it have to be so uncomfortable to get out of your comfort zone? I suppose that is part of what gives you the thrill, realizing that you are bigger than something. That you can overcome and conquer your fears. I mean, how many times do you really get a sense of accomplishment because you turned on the TV?

So to really understand the things that scare you, let’s take a look at the simple things, the things that don’t scare you. Why do you think those things don’t scare you? It is because they are easy, simple and commonplace. There is no challenge in them. You are not afraid of them because you have done it and at times, through repetition, the activities have become mundane. You have become so used to them that the fear is gone.

 

So how do you make something that scares you into that which you become so used to that the fear is gone? Two things: Just do it and repetition. First you need to bite the bullet and just do that which scares you. Yes, it scares the hell out of you, do it anyway. Second, if the fear is still there, repeat the action until you are used to it and it becomes easy, removing the fear.

 

Everyone is different and will react to situations differently. For example, I don’t like jumping off of high things into water. I have done it before but I don’t like it and it scares me. A ‘friend’ of mine said that if we were there together, hr would just push me. Now while that may accomplish getting me off of the platform, it would not help me to overcome my fear. Actually, it would probably increase it. Besides, if I don’t make the decision myself to accomplish it, then I wouldn’t overcome the fear. In this situation, for me, encouragement would work better. Then I would have to repeat it.

 

So why should you go with what scares you? Not only is it pushing you out of your comfort zone but more importantly, you are growing. When things are easy and you aren’t fighting for things anymore, you are relaxed and nothing is really happening, you aren’t growing. But as long as you are fighting through the fear and pushing yourself beyond it, then you are growing. You are becoming something greater than what you were when you began.

 

How do you find what scares you? Since it is something that scares you, we naturally avoid it or hide it and even hide from it at times. So we have gotten used to not looking for that which scares us. We can seek these things out from time to time. If we find ourselves making excuses and trying to avoid situations, it is time to change our efforts. Instead of avoiding it, we should embrace it and look for the challenge.

 

How do you face that which scares you?